I believe if all I had to my name were the friends God has given me, I could say that I have been blessed beyond measure. True friends are few and far between, and even fewer are ones that bring you closer to Christ. They are people I look up to, and cause me to set the bar higher. People who keep me accountable, and who I know are praying for me and I them.
If I were with my friends in America, we'd probably be sitting on our apartment floor, solving life's problems, and having a brownie mug. Maybe I'd be going shopping with my sisters, or taking trips to Sonic after church to see what we can buy with a dollar and a dime.
I miss all of that - all of you. Sometimes I find myself wanting to wallow in self-pity, but God has given me peace that far outweighs any sorrow I may feel. He has given me friends here, better than I could have imagined. God is teaching me that He gives us exactly what we need, and even more just because He is good to His children. He always seems to go above and beyond our expectations. Although we may not be able to go shopping together, or have the clearest conversations, they fill my heart with joy, simply by being in their presence.
The kind of joy that comes when I'm dancing around the kitchen with two girls who have the biggest imaginations I've ever been around. When Rachel and I sit with Margaret by her fire, and we laugh and cry at the same time because the smoke is burning our eyes. When Lynn comes over for language lessons, and we get to talk about our favorite Bible verses. When Baimuri gives me a big wide eyed grin, and lets me hold her little baby Matthew. When Manandi comes inside to chat over a cup of coffee and some biscuits. When it's time for prayer after ladies meeting, and Ansuta pours her heart out to God on my behalf.
The friends I've been blessed with fill my heart up to overflowing. God has been so good to me. I am so thankful for these friendships, and for my God who has blessed me tremendously with each of you.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
I wrote this a few days ago if some of the dates I mention get confusing..
The Gibello family has been visiting with us for one week. They brought their two children ages 4 and 2 with them, and we have had such a great time! I've had light saber battles, played hide and seek, been thrown in "jail", and attacked with toy snakes and frogs. It's been lots of fun having them around, not sure what we'll do once they leave!
On Friday afternoon, Hannah and Ariel rounded everyone up to play some baseball. It seemed everyone in the village came to play once they got home from work. Each team probably had 25 to 30 players. Ages 5 to 45, and anywhere from 3 feet to 6 feet tall. I think the women cheered and shouted more than I've ever heard them even say a word. Although my team lost, I would say we had the best team spirit ;)
Saturday was the first sunny day we've had in a while. I walked outside, and almost lost my breath at how good it felt to have the sun shining on my face! After choir, I sat outside the church for nearly two hours with some of the youth girls singing different songs from the church song book. They taught me the chorus of "Oh How I Love, Jesus" in Kamea, and I taught it in English. So we would sing it in English, then Pigin, then Kamea. I'm positive I'm still pronouncing the words wrong, but they were very encouraging, haha!
Our time outside ended, when a mother came asking for help for her young boy. The story was a bit confusing, but somehow a tree or piece of wood had fallen on his foot and cut the top open pretty badly. It definitely needed stitches. I went to get Rachel, and on my way back saw him hobbling over on one foot with a stick for extra support. He had walked all the way here, and I could tell he was trying hard not to cry. I felt so sorry for him, and I just couldn't stand there. I asked if he wanted me to carry him the rest of the way, which wasn't far, and he did. I saw myself in that little guy, struggling, hobbling along, and clinging to my little stick for support. Just trying to make it as far as I can on my own. Only asking for help when I can't do it anymore, if I even ask for help at all. All the while my Heavenly Father is right there, waiting for me to let go of my wobbly stick, and lean on Him instead.
At dinner the same night, another man came needing stitches right above his eye. He had been playing soccer after dark, and ran into the goal post. It took quite a while to get the bleeding to stop, so I held pressure on the wound, Rachel stitched, and Andrew and Hannah held up a lamp and a flashlight. "How many white people does it take to sew one man up?"
For tea time today, Ariel and I opted for water instead. The weather has been getting so much warmer lately, and hot tea didn't sound very appetizing. So we drank our water, and chatted in the hammocks on the front porch. The Gibello's little boy decided to come visit us, and he seemed quite enamored with all the spiders I have hanging around the place, and all the different ways into and out of the house. We went in and outside nearly 50 times, and then settled down with a banana to snack on.
I hope you enjoy reading about the everyday happenings in Kunai! Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying!
The Gibello family has been visiting with us for one week. They brought their two children ages 4 and 2 with them, and we have had such a great time! I've had light saber battles, played hide and seek, been thrown in "jail", and attacked with toy snakes and frogs. It's been lots of fun having them around, not sure what we'll do once they leave!
On Friday afternoon, Hannah and Ariel rounded everyone up to play some baseball. It seemed everyone in the village came to play once they got home from work. Each team probably had 25 to 30 players. Ages 5 to 45, and anywhere from 3 feet to 6 feet tall. I think the women cheered and shouted more than I've ever heard them even say a word. Although my team lost, I would say we had the best team spirit ;)
Saturday was the first sunny day we've had in a while. I walked outside, and almost lost my breath at how good it felt to have the sun shining on my face! After choir, I sat outside the church for nearly two hours with some of the youth girls singing different songs from the church song book. They taught me the chorus of "Oh How I Love, Jesus" in Kamea, and I taught it in English. So we would sing it in English, then Pigin, then Kamea. I'm positive I'm still pronouncing the words wrong, but they were very encouraging, haha!
Our time outside ended, when a mother came asking for help for her young boy. The story was a bit confusing, but somehow a tree or piece of wood had fallen on his foot and cut the top open pretty badly. It definitely needed stitches. I went to get Rachel, and on my way back saw him hobbling over on one foot with a stick for extra support. He had walked all the way here, and I could tell he was trying hard not to cry. I felt so sorry for him, and I just couldn't stand there. I asked if he wanted me to carry him the rest of the way, which wasn't far, and he did. I saw myself in that little guy, struggling, hobbling along, and clinging to my little stick for support. Just trying to make it as far as I can on my own. Only asking for help when I can't do it anymore, if I even ask for help at all. All the while my Heavenly Father is right there, waiting for me to let go of my wobbly stick, and lean on Him instead.
At dinner the same night, another man came needing stitches right above his eye. He had been playing soccer after dark, and ran into the goal post. It took quite a while to get the bleeding to stop, so I held pressure on the wound, Rachel stitched, and Andrew and Hannah held up a lamp and a flashlight. "How many white people does it take to sew one man up?"
For tea time today, Ariel and I opted for water instead. The weather has been getting so much warmer lately, and hot tea didn't sound very appetizing. So we drank our water, and chatted in the hammocks on the front porch. The Gibello's little boy decided to come visit us, and he seemed quite enamored with all the spiders I have hanging around the place, and all the different ways into and out of the house. We went in and outside nearly 50 times, and then settled down with a banana to snack on.
I hope you enjoy reading about the everyday happenings in Kunai! Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying!
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
An Answered Prayer
Last week Sunday, my spirit felt rather dry. My mind had been preoccupied with worries, and other things I had put above my time with the Lord. I needed refreshing, and before church began I prayed that God would use Pastor James to speak to me. To give me something that I personally needed.
Usually his sermons are roughly estimated, 75% Kamea, and 25% Pigin. In other words, I spend most of that time letting my mind wonder. But this Sunday I determined would be different. I sat down on the wooden bench, and pastor began by telling us to turn to "buk Rom, chapter 4." My heart skipped a beat. This is one of my favorite passages about the faith of Abraham. A passage God has used to guide and encourage me over the last year. I wondered which verses he would preach on. He then began reading verses 13 to the end of the chapter, all in English. Maybe you're thinking what's the big deal? - Well, I can probably count on one hand the times he has read any verses in English this year and last year combined. The majority of people in church that day couldn't understand English, but he was reading them in English. His sermon continued in spurts of Pigin and longer spurts of Kamea, but all I could do was be amazed at what God had just given me.
Maybe it sounds silly, but I know my God is personal. He knew I needed that reminder not to loose faith. To keep my eyes on him. And he gave it to me in my own language so I wouldn't forget it.
Usually his sermons are roughly estimated, 75% Kamea, and 25% Pigin. In other words, I spend most of that time letting my mind wonder. But this Sunday I determined would be different. I sat down on the wooden bench, and pastor began by telling us to turn to "buk Rom, chapter 4." My heart skipped a beat. This is one of my favorite passages about the faith of Abraham. A passage God has used to guide and encourage me over the last year. I wondered which verses he would preach on. He then began reading verses 13 to the end of the chapter, all in English. Maybe you're thinking what's the big deal? - Well, I can probably count on one hand the times he has read any verses in English this year and last year combined. The majority of people in church that day couldn't understand English, but he was reading them in English. His sermon continued in spurts of Pigin and longer spurts of Kamea, but all I could do was be amazed at what God had just given me.
Maybe it sounds silly, but I know my God is personal. He knew I needed that reminder not to loose faith. To keep my eyes on him. And he gave it to me in my own language so I wouldn't forget it.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Catching up!
Hey everyone!
I apologize for being a failure at blogging! I feel like I've almost forgotten how to, but I'll try my best to remember some of the recent things I've been getting to be a part of! I apologize for the briefness of each story, otherwise you'd be reading for days.
Early in September, Bro. Matt and his family were out for a few weeks while Andrew, Rachel, and I hung back in Kunai. One weekend we hiked to the site of the radio tower to do a little painting. We packed a lunch and made a day out of it. At the top, we made a quick phone call to Bro. John and Mrs. Lena back in the states. It was so great to hear their voices on the other end! We ate our biscuits and granola bars, took a few fun pictures, and then got to work. The weekend before the Allen clan came back, Andrew gathered up all the scrap wood around the guest house to make a bon fire. Rachel and I concluded that you can't have a bon fire without smores, so we made some with Bush Biscuits instead of graham crackers. They turned out quite yummy!
While the Allens were gone I had the opportunity to teach Jr. Church in Mrs. Becky's place. I was nervous at first, thinking about teaching 50 or so kids and keeping their attention. It turned out great though! I had my friend Anna translate for me. Without her I'm sure the kids would have been lost with my half Pigin, half English stories. We also learned a new English song, "Behold what manner of love..." I think the kids enjoyed it because they always asked if we could sing it again, "2 more times! 3 more! 4 more!" I usually would settle for 2 :) I didn't realize I had an interest in teaching, but those 3 weeks filled me with so much joy unspeakable!
A couple weeks later, Bro. Brad Wells and three of his children came to help set up the radio tower. The tower here will be a repeater of Bro. Brad's station in Mt. Hagen. People here will be able to listen to preaching, scripture reading, and Christian music in Pigin. This is something many have been dreaming and looking forward to for a long time. On Thursday, the 19th, many of us woke up early to carry pieces of the tower, supplies, tools, and lunch to the top of Mt. Yemya. That trip up the mountain was the hardest one yet! Usually I just carry a pack of biscuits, and water - not hammers and nails. When we reached the top, I was amazed at the amount of people that had made the climb. Looking at the many faces, tears came to my eyes as I realized that I was standing in the middle of a dream come true.
Zipping right along to this last week! Andrew and Rachel were out for one week getting supplies. Which meant I would be the only nurse on the property. I don't know if it's funny or sad, but my prayer life dramatically increased while she was gone. I've found that when I start to get comfortable, God has something planned to remind me of my great need for Him. - On Friday of this week, Margaret coached me through a stitch up job. This particular lady had cut the palm of her hand all the way around to the top with her bush knife. Ouch!
On Saturday, my friend Manandi and I walked down to the soccer fields at Kotidanga together. She had a game later that day, and I was free so I told her I'd come watch. The boys game was intended to start at 9:30. At 9:30 no one was there, just a few vendors at market. So we rounded for a little while, and bought some tapioke, bananas, and a pineapple to eat for lunch. We found a spot on the grass and sat there for an hour or so as different friend's of her came to talk with us. After a while many more people had come to sell things in market so we made another round, and met up with our friend, Anna. By this point it was nearly noon and the first game hadn't even started yet. We talked with Anna until the boys game started at 12:30. The afternoon rain started early in the guys game so they ended up postponing the girl's game. Even though I didn't get to see the game I had wanted to, I had a great time sitting and talking with Manandi, and meeting some of her friends.
Today is Monday which means Rachel and Andrew, along with Bro. Matt and the two interns will be returning if weather permits. Tomorrow the Gibello family is coming to visit for 1 week. I'm sure we'll be having lots of fun since they have two small children!
Til next time!
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Siria
Almost two months ago, Siria's mother brought her with a bad case of whooping cough and diarrhea. We treated her for both, and told them to stay close by to return for shots the next day. Instead of getting better, each visit she continually got worse. Added to her whooping cough and diarrhea, it seemed she developed pneumonia and chicken pox simultaneously. One week turned into two and still she wasn't getting any better.
We were running on fumes by this point for she wasn't the only sick baby staying in or near the clinic. I had had it with sick and dying babies. Almost every child I saw sleeping in their mother's arms I assumed was close to death. I would ask Snowi, our helper, are they sleeping or sick?
On this particular day, we sat with Siria and her mother all day. Her lungs were full of fluid, and she wasn't drinking any of her mother's milk. We tried breathing treatments, and putting tubes down her nose. Nothing seemed to help. She would struggle to breath for what seemed like only seconds then would quit for what seemed like minutes. I remember looking down at the lap lap her mother Jennifer had her wrapped in. It said, "all things are possible with God," and I knew if this little girl lived it would only be because of Him.
We had all mourned for this little girl that we knew wouldn't make it, but still she grasped at every bit of life she had left. She made it through that night and the night after that. Her brain was injured from lack of oxygen, and she had seizures for some time afterward. It seemed she couldn't see or hear because of her inability to focus on anything or anyone talking to her. We slowly weaned her off of the seizure medication, and she didn't seem to suffer from them anymore. A few weeks later we discharged a little girl who I thought may never enjoy sight or sound again.
Last week she came back to the clinic full of joy and laughter. She crawled around on the clinic porch, and even let me stand her up. She didn't stop smiling, and I don't think Rachel and I could either. It seems everything about her is back to normal except for her hearing.
God truly worked a miracle in little Siria's life. My God can make the blind see and bring the dead back to life. May I never forget the power of His healing hand.
We were running on fumes by this point for she wasn't the only sick baby staying in or near the clinic. I had had it with sick and dying babies. Almost every child I saw sleeping in their mother's arms I assumed was close to death. I would ask Snowi, our helper, are they sleeping or sick?
On this particular day, we sat with Siria and her mother all day. Her lungs were full of fluid, and she wasn't drinking any of her mother's milk. We tried breathing treatments, and putting tubes down her nose. Nothing seemed to help. She would struggle to breath for what seemed like only seconds then would quit for what seemed like minutes. I remember looking down at the lap lap her mother Jennifer had her wrapped in. It said, "all things are possible with God," and I knew if this little girl lived it would only be because of Him.
We had all mourned for this little girl that we knew wouldn't make it, but still she grasped at every bit of life she had left. She made it through that night and the night after that. Her brain was injured from lack of oxygen, and she had seizures for some time afterward. It seemed she couldn't see or hear because of her inability to focus on anything or anyone talking to her. We slowly weaned her off of the seizure medication, and she didn't seem to suffer from them anymore. A few weeks later we discharged a little girl who I thought may never enjoy sight or sound again.
Last week she came back to the clinic full of joy and laughter. She crawled around on the clinic porch, and even let me stand her up. She didn't stop smiling, and I don't think Rachel and I could either. It seems everything about her is back to normal except for her hearing.
God truly worked a miracle in little Siria's life. My God can make the blind see and bring the dead back to life. May I never forget the power of His healing hand.
Friday, August 23, 2013
The Perfect Day
What constitutes a perfect day? I guess for some it might be making the final payment on a home, finally getting that promotion, or learning that you are expecting a precious baby. I'm sure if I were in those situations I would consider myself to be having a perfect day as well. But sometimes the perfect day is simple.
In college, I remember thinking the perfect day was getting out of class early, the sun was shining, and I had enough time to take the long way down Washington and Dixie home, just to admire all the pretty homes. Maybe the perfect day was being home on Saturday evening, and roasting marshmallows with my parents and sisters. Nothing extravagant had happened. It was just a simple day, and in my eyes, perfect.
We've had some difficult days as of late, but Wednesday it was like God kept trying to remind me that he is still with us, that He is still in control. It was one of those simply, perfect days. Peace kept washing over me again and again in waves. There were no fireworks, no pomp and fanfare, just peace.
It's hard to describe an indescribable peace sometimes. Sort of like trying to describe the way something tastes, or the way the wind feels. You have to experience it to know how it feels. So instead of trying to explain it, I'll just tell you a little about my day.
The first wave hit me while I was sitting out beside the clinic with Manandi. The ladies have been cutting grass this week so we sat on the now golden yard, just talking about playing soccer and a bad case of Malaria she had one time. An odd combination, I know. We sat there together, enjoying our slow day. I tried to soak it all up. Every last bit of sunshine and laughter.
After a few more patients, we found ourselves inside packing medicine with John Mark. He packed and we labeled. Manandi started to sing a new song I had never heard before. Neither had John Mark. She taught us the words, and we kept singing this sweet melody, "...Aleluya, Hosanna! Aleluya, Hosanna! Jisas yu nambawan!.." The wave swept over me again.
Church had ended, and I found myself nearly stumbling over myself as I walked back home. I couldn't stop staring up at the sky, as the sun had begun to set. All kinds of oranges and reds spilled from behind the clouds. The birds were singing. A soft breeze was blowing. It was beautiful. I wondered to myself how amazing our God truly is to give us these things. He could have chosen to make everything brown, to give all birds the same song, and never have us feel the touch of a gentle breeze. His goodness swept over me.
Then yesterday Rachel had asked if I'd like to walk up to the airstrip with her. At the top, we were both able to call and talk to loved ones. It was wonderful to hear my families voices again. I finished my conversation, and Rachel made her phone call. I walked over to the other side, and sat down to read the book I had brought with me. This day wasn't necessarily what I would describe as being beautiful. Not like the evening before. It was overcast and I could feel a few sprinkles while I sat reading. But as I was reading I had to stop and just listen. I looked over at a vast amount of jungle trees, and watched as the wind blew through them. The sound they made told me of my God's presence. His peace washed over me again.
My day may sound a bit boring, but to me it was sweet. God was reminding me that I don't have to look very far to find Him or His peace. So in Him, my day was perfect.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Around the World
On Friday night, I usually have Ariel and Hannah over for dinner and a movie. They come over around 5pm and we have a big time before we crash! I noticed last time that it seems we have been eating a different international dish each week. We've had pizza and skillet lasagna, a cheesy Mexican rice dish, and this last week Chinese fried rice. We've now decided to make it our tradition to visit a different country each week. I think this Friday we're going to India! Please comment and leave ideas for dishes in different countries that we could try out!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Weekend in Aminawa
This weekend Andrew and Rachel invited me to go with them to Aminawa. Saturday the church members began putting the roof on their first church building, so we went to be of help and support.
We left early Saturday morning before the mist and fog had a chance to melt away. I rode in the back of the truck with Anteresa and Baimuri, and nearly all of their children. Me, two women, and a bundle of children all piled up in the back, with Andrew and Rachel in the front. It was an interesting ride to say the least. Every now and then, I'd glance at a little face beaming with excitement at all the fun riding in a truck can bring. Then we'd get jostled around a bit, and that expression would change. Usually that would result in laughter from me and the two mothers.
We made it to our parking spot, and began the hike into Aminawa. We arrived around 9am, as the men had already begun putting up the roof. It was really neat to see all of the people come out to help, even those that don't attend church! There were people all over the hill side all day long. Men putting up the roof or digging a pit for the fire, and ladies preparing all kinds of food. Rachel and I peeled lots of kao kao and bananas, but they had squash, tapioke, greens, pit pit, and more! It was literally a dinner on the ground. Once all the food was ready, they brought it to us on banana leaves. I was pretty hungry, but they must have brought me enough food for 3 large men, so I ended up sharing most of my meal. By the end of the day I was dubbed, Nani (Nah-nee). I'm unsure of the spelling, but it means big sister. It made my heart smile:)
As it started to get dark we walked down to the community hall building, and Andrew and Rachel set up the projector so we could watch some films. They showed the story of the serpent being lifted up in the wilderness, and it's connection to Jesus Christ being lifted up to die for us. Afterwards we watched the life of Jesus in Pigin. There must have been up to 200 people there. Many who have not placed their faith in Jesus Christ watched as the gospel was presented to them. I couldn't help, but to look out at the faces aglow with the light of the projector, and wonder if God was tugging at their hearts. I know we were all praying for those that might have been lost. I have faith in God's promise that his word will not return void.
We stayed the night with Reuben, at his house along with Malasi, Phillip, and their families. Reuben is a member of the church in Aminawa, and Malasi and Phillip are two of the bible school students here in Kunai. The next morning I woke up to pigs, roosters, and babies stirring around. I left my little room to go sit near the fire in the big room. Malasi and Phillip led a devotion for their families, and I just sat and listened as they sang hymns, and spoke from God's word.
Church began around 9am, and we sat under the tarp as the weather went back and forth from sunny and hot, to misty and cold. When you barely know Pigin and only a handful of Kamean words, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay focused on a message or conversation, when running on little sleep. I couldn't help but think how nice it would have been to be sitting in a padded pew back home, listening to a message in English. But then I remembered all the people who watched the video, who desperately needed to hear the Gospel, and I realized how much of a wimp I was being. God commands us to go to the uttermost, and these people need Christ as much as we in America do. I wonder what if no one had come to Aminawa or PNG because it was going to be uncomfortable. I had to stop and think about that day when I come face to face with my Creator. When He asks me why I didn't tell my friend, my co-worker, or that stranger about His Son, Jesus Christ. What will I say to the One who bled and died for me. The One who loves me with an incomprehensible love. "Umm, I didn't want to make things awkward?" My heart breaks at the thought of all my lost chances, and time that I've wasted. I'm grateful for that reminder this weekend. I needed it.
After church we hiked back home, and enjoyed a tasty pineapple along the way. We stopped to visit with Benjamin for a little while, and storied with him about his new house and other things going on around here. He is always a blessing to visit with. He has such a sweet spirit that is sure to always put me in a better mood. We left from there, and made our way home in the truck safely.
It truly was a wonderful weekend. Filled with new memories, and rekindled burdens. I pray I don't forget them.
We left early Saturday morning before the mist and fog had a chance to melt away. I rode in the back of the truck with Anteresa and Baimuri, and nearly all of their children. Me, two women, and a bundle of children all piled up in the back, with Andrew and Rachel in the front. It was an interesting ride to say the least. Every now and then, I'd glance at a little face beaming with excitement at all the fun riding in a truck can bring. Then we'd get jostled around a bit, and that expression would change. Usually that would result in laughter from me and the two mothers.
We made it to our parking spot, and began the hike into Aminawa. We arrived around 9am, as the men had already begun putting up the roof. It was really neat to see all of the people come out to help, even those that don't attend church! There were people all over the hill side all day long. Men putting up the roof or digging a pit for the fire, and ladies preparing all kinds of food. Rachel and I peeled lots of kao kao and bananas, but they had squash, tapioke, greens, pit pit, and more! It was literally a dinner on the ground. Once all the food was ready, they brought it to us on banana leaves. I was pretty hungry, but they must have brought me enough food for 3 large men, so I ended up sharing most of my meal. By the end of the day I was dubbed, Nani (Nah-nee). I'm unsure of the spelling, but it means big sister. It made my heart smile:)
As it started to get dark we walked down to the community hall building, and Andrew and Rachel set up the projector so we could watch some films. They showed the story of the serpent being lifted up in the wilderness, and it's connection to Jesus Christ being lifted up to die for us. Afterwards we watched the life of Jesus in Pigin. There must have been up to 200 people there. Many who have not placed their faith in Jesus Christ watched as the gospel was presented to them. I couldn't help, but to look out at the faces aglow with the light of the projector, and wonder if God was tugging at their hearts. I know we were all praying for those that might have been lost. I have faith in God's promise that his word will not return void.
We stayed the night with Reuben, at his house along with Malasi, Phillip, and their families. Reuben is a member of the church in Aminawa, and Malasi and Phillip are two of the bible school students here in Kunai. The next morning I woke up to pigs, roosters, and babies stirring around. I left my little room to go sit near the fire in the big room. Malasi and Phillip led a devotion for their families, and I just sat and listened as they sang hymns, and spoke from God's word.
Church began around 9am, and we sat under the tarp as the weather went back and forth from sunny and hot, to misty and cold. When you barely know Pigin and only a handful of Kamean words, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay focused on a message or conversation, when running on little sleep. I couldn't help but think how nice it would have been to be sitting in a padded pew back home, listening to a message in English. But then I remembered all the people who watched the video, who desperately needed to hear the Gospel, and I realized how much of a wimp I was being. God commands us to go to the uttermost, and these people need Christ as much as we in America do. I wonder what if no one had come to Aminawa or PNG because it was going to be uncomfortable. I had to stop and think about that day when I come face to face with my Creator. When He asks me why I didn't tell my friend, my co-worker, or that stranger about His Son, Jesus Christ. What will I say to the One who bled and died for me. The One who loves me with an incomprehensible love. "Umm, I didn't want to make things awkward?" My heart breaks at the thought of all my lost chances, and time that I've wasted. I'm grateful for that reminder this weekend. I needed it.
After church we hiked back home, and enjoyed a tasty pineapple along the way. We stopped to visit with Benjamin for a little while, and storied with him about his new house and other things going on around here. He is always a blessing to visit with. He has such a sweet spirit that is sure to always put me in a better mood. We left from there, and made our way home in the truck safely.
It truly was a wonderful weekend. Filled with new memories, and rekindled burdens. I pray I don't forget them.
Monday, August 5, 2013
His Compassions Fail Not
They sit there on the clinic porch. Mamas with their babies, old men with their walking sticks, and children with their cuts and bruises. Sometimes it seems endless. The work load becomes heavy, and the days become long.
Somehow now, my dreams have become reality. The thing about dreams though, is that they can be perfect. They can be however you want them to be.
In my dreams, I didn't imagine myself struggling. I imagined things perfectly. I would be the best helper I could be. I would love these people with all of my might. I would have the best attitude all the time. I would do this, and I would do that. Do you get the picture?
What I've learned is, I can't do any of those things. Only He can.
Sometimes I find that my compassion is lacking. Sometimes I find that it becomes a mundane thing to stare at these faces day in and day out. Faces that have come seeking help. Yes, sometimes it's a simple scrape on the knee. Sometimes it's more serious than that. Every time it's deeper than that. There is a need here so much greater than the physical. They have a need to hear about the Man who came to set them free, the Man who loves them with an unending love, the Man who's compassions will never fail them.
My capacity to love them on my own is weak. My compassion alone will fail them. My prayer is that it won't be by my strength, or my love, or my compassion, but His while I serve and live here. That I would love the way He does, unending, always giving, unselfish, and never prideful.
"because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:22b - 23a
Somehow now, my dreams have become reality. The thing about dreams though, is that they can be perfect. They can be however you want them to be.
In my dreams, I didn't imagine myself struggling. I imagined things perfectly. I would be the best helper I could be. I would love these people with all of my might. I would have the best attitude all the time. I would do this, and I would do that. Do you get the picture?
What I've learned is, I can't do any of those things. Only He can.
Sometimes I find that my compassion is lacking. Sometimes I find that it becomes a mundane thing to stare at these faces day in and day out. Faces that have come seeking help. Yes, sometimes it's a simple scrape on the knee. Sometimes it's more serious than that. Every time it's deeper than that. There is a need here so much greater than the physical. They have a need to hear about the Man who came to set them free, the Man who loves them with an unending love, the Man who's compassions will never fail them.
My capacity to love them on my own is weak. My compassion alone will fail them. My prayer is that it won't be by my strength, or my love, or my compassion, but His while I serve and live here. That I would love the way He does, unending, always giving, unselfish, and never prideful.
"because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:22b - 23a
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Babies, Birthdays, and Bible FM
What a wonderful and busy week this has been!
We got word Tuesday morning that Pastor Jack needed a med-evac flight for his wife, Esila, who was about to have a baby! She stayed around the property all day Tuesday. By night fall we thought we were going to have a baby, but ended up working around the clock. Many prayers were prayed for Esila and their little one. At about 8am Wednesday morning, Rachel decided it was best for her to be flown to Port Moresby, where they have more options to help deliver her baby safely. At 4:30pm Wednesday evening, little baby Jack was born! He is precious!
We got word Tuesday morning that Pastor Jack needed a med-evac flight for his wife, Esila, who was about to have a baby! She stayed around the property all day Tuesday. By night fall we thought we were going to have a baby, but ended up working around the clock. Many prayers were prayed for Esila and their little one. At about 8am Wednesday morning, Rachel decided it was best for her to be flown to Port Moresby, where they have more options to help deliver her baby safely. At 4:30pm Wednesday evening, little baby Jack was born! He is precious!
This weekend, Ariel, Hannah, Emily, Angel, and I took a nice hike up to the home of the future Bible FM tower. Lesson learned, I am out of shape! Once we made it to the top we enjoyed some of the best biscuits I've ever put in my mouth! We had fun trying to throw rocks at the nearby palm trees, and carving our initials on almost every log we took a break at. On our way down, we listened to the Star Wars theme song for some motivation. Towards the end of our hike we took a detour to go see a water fall. It was nice to cool off in the icy water, and see home again.
Today is my birthday, and it's already been so wonderful! My sister Grace and friend Kelley, were so thoughtful in putting together a slideshow of my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday! It was the best gift I could have gotten. I can't help but feel overwhelmed from all of the love, support, and prayers of my family, church family, and friends back home! You all made today wonderful! I love you all so much and am thankful for each of you! Tonight Rachel made a delicious dinner, and the girls each made me a card. Today was wonderful. Looking forward to what God has in store for year 22!
Sunday, July 21, 2013
"God's been Good!"
Here are just a few things that have been going on recently...
This week Bro. John and Mrs. Lena left out early Tuesday morning. They plan to run several errands in town before leaving for the states. One of which, is buying all of my groceries for the next few months. They will be sending those back in a week or so. I'm looking forward to getting all of the new supplies and some peanut butter! It was wonderful to stay with them while they were here, although it was short-lived. I am thankful they are letting me use their house as my own while they are out! Since they've been gone, Porsche their dog has been keeping me good company. She's a great guard dog as well as Blue, she stays on the back porch and Porsche on the front.
We've had a great week in clinic. Lots of the medicines that have been ordered have been delivered this week. I know it sounds simple, but to get more than one order at a time is rare. We've gotten so much, Rachel and I aren't sure where everything is going to go. So much medicine, so little space. I think we might be ready for Armageddon now ;)
I've been blessed this week to be able to Skype with my family and my friend Emmy all the way in Zimbabwe - Emmy, not my family. Both times were wonderful. I didn't even try Skype last summer so this was a great treat! It was wonderful to hear their voices and see their faces, not just a few words on the computer screen.
My friend Kelley has been sending me some music to listen to. I've downloaded all of them now, and can't quit replaying them. I've felt like I'm back at home listening to Amie, Jacob and Christine, the Halls, the Cleghorns, and even my sister on the violin! It has brightened my week so much! I keep walking around with, "God's been good in my life! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams when I go to sleep each night!" playing in my head, and I don't mind it a bit!
Last night Ariel and Hannah came for a sleep-over. We made pizza, and had orange kool-aid for dinner. After watching a movie and doing each others hair, we decided it was time for bed. This morning we sat around the kitchen table laughing about memories from last summer, while enjoying some oatmeal.
A lot has been happening with the new vision God has given TTMK. Bro. Matt has been in Port Moresby this week working out details over the land. It has been exciting to be here as all of these things are falling into place. I look forward to what is going to happen while I am here and in the years to come for TTMK. If you don't know what I'm talking about you can check out this blog, and you can definitely be praying!
I think that's enough rambling for now... Looking forward to what this next week holds!
This week Bro. John and Mrs. Lena left out early Tuesday morning. They plan to run several errands in town before leaving for the states. One of which, is buying all of my groceries for the next few months. They will be sending those back in a week or so. I'm looking forward to getting all of the new supplies and some peanut butter! It was wonderful to stay with them while they were here, although it was short-lived. I am thankful they are letting me use their house as my own while they are out! Since they've been gone, Porsche their dog has been keeping me good company. She's a great guard dog as well as Blue, she stays on the back porch and Porsche on the front.
We've had a great week in clinic. Lots of the medicines that have been ordered have been delivered this week. I know it sounds simple, but to get more than one order at a time is rare. We've gotten so much, Rachel and I aren't sure where everything is going to go. So much medicine, so little space. I think we might be ready for Armageddon now ;)
I've been blessed this week to be able to Skype with my family and my friend Emmy all the way in Zimbabwe - Emmy, not my family. Both times were wonderful. I didn't even try Skype last summer so this was a great treat! It was wonderful to hear their voices and see their faces, not just a few words on the computer screen.
My friend Kelley has been sending me some music to listen to. I've downloaded all of them now, and can't quit replaying them. I've felt like I'm back at home listening to Amie, Jacob and Christine, the Halls, the Cleghorns, and even my sister on the violin! It has brightened my week so much! I keep walking around with, "God's been good in my life! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams when I go to sleep each night!" playing in my head, and I don't mind it a bit!
Last night Ariel and Hannah came for a sleep-over. We made pizza, and had orange kool-aid for dinner. After watching a movie and doing each others hair, we decided it was time for bed. This morning we sat around the kitchen table laughing about memories from last summer, while enjoying some oatmeal.
A lot has been happening with the new vision God has given TTMK. Bro. Matt has been in Port Moresby this week working out details over the land. It has been exciting to be here as all of these things are falling into place. I look forward to what is going to happen while I am here and in the years to come for TTMK. If you don't know what I'm talking about you can check out this blog, and you can definitely be praying!
I think that's enough rambling for now... Looking forward to what this next week holds!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Uriah's Story
His mom brought him up to the clinic porch. It was nearly all he could do to keep his eyes open. If there is anything finer than thread, he was hanging onto it.
Severely dehydrated from his sickness, we attempted to re-hydrate him. Hours passed inside the clinic, and improvement seemed next to impossible. His breathing became shallow, and he was barely arousable. "This is it," I thought. Pastor and the bible school students came with their wives to pray. We prayed together, and we cried together. Uriah just wasn't going to make it.
But still he hung on. He would stay the night in Pastor's cookhouse. We would check on him every two hours or so. By this time he had a tube placed down his nose because he couldn't drink on his own. Each visit would be different. Deterioration to improvement to deterioration again. My heart was aching. Throughout the night with each dog bark or rooster crow my mind would wonder, "Was that..?" or "I hope.."
Morning came. He was still alive. We would repeat ourselves until he was healed one way or another. People were praying all over the world. Praying for God to work a miracle. It was up to God. We knew nothing we could do would be successful without Him. The Lord gives and He takes away, but we will always bless His name.
Day turned into night, and for four days he hung on. It's all a blur now, but maybe it was Friday or Saturday I'm not sure. Dad tells me he's been eating cucumbers and bananas plus he's keeping it all down. Such a victory for this little guy. We held him a day or two more just to be sure. He went home on Sunday with his mom a completely different child.
So thankful for stories like these, and for the one true God who makes them possible.
Uriah's name means "the Lord is my light." - "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
I can't help but wonder if one day his mom will tell him the story of how he almost died, but God was the light that pulled them through. I can't help but wonder if one day when Uriah is old and gray, that he'll look back on all the times that God was faithful to be his light - to be his strength. I can't help but wonder if maybe one day I'll see Uriah's face again in Heaven. I can't help but wonder, if all I'll be able to do is fall at His feet, and thank him for being my light - for being my strength - for being my God.
Severely dehydrated from his sickness, we attempted to re-hydrate him. Hours passed inside the clinic, and improvement seemed next to impossible. His breathing became shallow, and he was barely arousable. "This is it," I thought. Pastor and the bible school students came with their wives to pray. We prayed together, and we cried together. Uriah just wasn't going to make it.
But still he hung on. He would stay the night in Pastor's cookhouse. We would check on him every two hours or so. By this time he had a tube placed down his nose because he couldn't drink on his own. Each visit would be different. Deterioration to improvement to deterioration again. My heart was aching. Throughout the night with each dog bark or rooster crow my mind would wonder, "Was that..?" or "I hope.."
Morning came. He was still alive. We would repeat ourselves until he was healed one way or another. People were praying all over the world. Praying for God to work a miracle. It was up to God. We knew nothing we could do would be successful without Him. The Lord gives and He takes away, but we will always bless His name.
Day turned into night, and for four days he hung on. It's all a blur now, but maybe it was Friday or Saturday I'm not sure. Dad tells me he's been eating cucumbers and bananas plus he's keeping it all down. Such a victory for this little guy. We held him a day or two more just to be sure. He went home on Sunday with his mom a completely different child.
So thankful for stories like these, and for the one true God who makes them possible.
Uriah's name means "the Lord is my light." - "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
I can't help but wonder if one day his mom will tell him the story of how he almost died, but God was the light that pulled them through. I can't help but wonder if one day when Uriah is old and gray, that he'll look back on all the times that God was faithful to be his light - to be his strength. I can't help but wonder if maybe one day I'll see Uriah's face again in Heaven. I can't help but wonder, if all I'll be able to do is fall at His feet, and thank him for being my light - for being my strength - for being my God.
Thursday, July 4, 2013
He is Enough
It's that place between sorrow and happiness. One minute you feel your heart breaking in two. The next minute it's about to burst from excitement. It's hopelessness and hope simultaneously. Sometimes I wonder if that can even be possible.
You work so hard until all your resources seem exhausted, and you are as well. You've put forth everything. Mind, heart, soul. You're empty.
All you want to do is rest. To recuperate, but chance just won't let you. People are still sick, people are still hurting, people are still dying.
It feels like an uphill battle, a constant struggle to keep your head above the water.
Then I hear His reminder. Find rest in me alone. You can't do this on your own, quit fighting me.
"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." - Psalm 91:1
When I feel inadequate, He equips. When I feel exhausted, He gives strength. When I feel lonely, He is my constant friend.
He is enough.
"But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and NOT of us." - II Corinthians 4:7
Monday, July 1, 2013
Sundays
Sundays are my favorite, but then again I tend to say that about every day.
I love the simplicity of life here, especially Sunday. There's no rushing around making sure everyone has been fed, and has their hair just right. It's not about the fancy music, padded pews, or "I can't believe they took my seat!" It's nothing complex. It's everything simple.
We walk to church at 9 am, shake hands with everyone, and sing praises to God just a few beats too slow. I know He doesn't mind, and that makes me smile. We listen to what God has to say, and then I'll go to Junior church with Mrs. Becky. The kids are so animated when we sing, and join in with every hand motion. They hang on to every word of each story. Except for a few, that would rather chat. It's time for prayer requests, and almost every hand pops up.
Church let's out, and we know this means it's time for volleyball. Most everyone comes out to either watch or play. I think I enjoy watching almost more than playing. Usually I get a new hair do, and might play a "stone game" with some of the younger girls. They beat me every time. I love their light-hearted spirit. Joy flows from their heart, and I love to be right in the middle of it.
At the end of the day it will probably rain. The sound it makes drowns out all other thoughts. I can think about my day, and about what I've learned. I can enjoy my Savior, and all He's done for me. It was another wonderful Sunday.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Jumping In
It's Tuesday afternoon and we've just come in from clinic. The rain has just started on time as usual. This morning the three interns left with Bro. Matt to go on an outreach to Hoiti. I'm staying back to get in the swing of things in clinic. Andrew and Rachel flew out early Monday morning so now I'm taking care of their dog. I think she is finally starting to like me.. or maybe it's just the food I give her.
Last weekend we went tubing down the river here, and even jumped off a waterfall. I won't tell you how small it was. We came home to find out a man was being carried here, after having cut his leg on accident. When Rachel got to the last stitch, she asked if I wanted to do it. She walked me through the whole process, and I did it! I guess you know you're a rookie when that gives you an adrenaline rush ;)
On Sunday, just about everyone went to Aminawa for the baptism service. There was a great crowd. Lots of people came to watch, and got to hear the gospel. It was a blessing to see young and old alike publicly showing their commitment to follow Christ. How wonderful it was to be there with this church for such an exciting time. Afterwards, a family had made an enormous amount of greens, kao kao, and bananas for us. I'm pretty sure they made enough for the entire village. We left from there to hike towards Benjamin's home. We visited with him for a while mostly just listening. Sometimes that's all that's necessary. They pulled out his guitar and we sang together. Sometimes I forget how much music can refresh the soul. It was medicine for me. I hope it was for Ben.
Because of Him,
Faith
Last weekend we went tubing down the river here, and even jumped off a waterfall. I won't tell you how small it was. We came home to find out a man was being carried here, after having cut his leg on accident. When Rachel got to the last stitch, she asked if I wanted to do it. She walked me through the whole process, and I did it! I guess you know you're a rookie when that gives you an adrenaline rush ;)
On Sunday, just about everyone went to Aminawa for the baptism service. There was a great crowd. Lots of people came to watch, and got to hear the gospel. It was a blessing to see young and old alike publicly showing their commitment to follow Christ. How wonderful it was to be there with this church for such an exciting time. Afterwards, a family had made an enormous amount of greens, kao kao, and bananas for us. I'm pretty sure they made enough for the entire village. We left from there to hike towards Benjamin's home. We visited with him for a while mostly just listening. Sometimes that's all that's necessary. They pulled out his guitar and we sang together. Sometimes I forget how much music can refresh the soul. It was medicine for me. I hope it was for Ben.
Because of Him,
Faith
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
His Ways are Higher
Hey everybody!!
Sorry it's taken me awhile to blog. I'll try to catch you up on some of the highlights!
Usually flight stories are boring, but here goes mine. First of all, I had a list of things I was praying for before I left for this trip. One of which was to have someone to travel with. I was reading back through my journal before I left, thinking about how God had answered ALL of my prayers but this one. In LA, as I was waiting to board the plane to Brisbane, I overheard a girl say something about PNG. I went over and started talking to her, and turns out she and an entire group of college age students were on their way there to work with New Tribes. We ended up flying all the way to Port Moresby together from LA. On my flight into Brisbane, I sat by an Australian guy who helped me figure out what I needed to do once I got into the Brisbane airport (I would have been so confused otherwise.) I thought God didn't answer that prayer. He did, but not how I expected. His ways are just higher.
When we got to Kanabea a funeral was going on up in the cemetery. We pulled up to the hospital, and all you could hear were people sobbing and wailing. Mrs. Becky told me that the people believe that if you don't wail at someone's funeral that the spirit of the deceased will come back to haunt you. Thankfully some have received Christ as their Savior, and understand this isn't true. Pray that more will come to know Him, and be free from this spirit of fear and bondage.
While at Kanabea, we were waiting to bring little Boaz back to the clinic. Rachel S. had taken him there for more observation, after a large piece of fire wood had been accidentally dropped on him. He didn't look or sound good at all, but yesterday he was walking around. I think I even saw a smile on his face :) God is still a miracle worker. This place is a constant reminder of that.
This is my second night here and it feels like I was just here last week. While we were singing in church tonight, my mind was flooded with memories from last summer. I got to hug necks and shake hands that I thought I never would again. It was one of those "I think my heart my burst" sort of moments. I can't believe God brought me back. It almost doesn't seem real at times.
Part 2 from today:
This morning Lynn came over to teach Rachel W. and I some Pigin. I think my mind is full to overflowing with new words and phrases. We'll pick up next week, and each Thursday after that. I pray that I can catch on quickly.
We also had ladies meeting this morning. It's always one of my favorite parts of the week. Even though I'm still having a difficult time understanding everything that's said, it's good to just be with these ladies. I look forward to the weeks ahead with them.
Til next time!
Sorry it's taken me awhile to blog. I'll try to catch you up on some of the highlights!
Usually flight stories are boring, but here goes mine. First of all, I had a list of things I was praying for before I left for this trip. One of which was to have someone to travel with. I was reading back through my journal before I left, thinking about how God had answered ALL of my prayers but this one. In LA, as I was waiting to board the plane to Brisbane, I overheard a girl say something about PNG. I went over and started talking to her, and turns out she and an entire group of college age students were on their way there to work with New Tribes. We ended up flying all the way to Port Moresby together from LA. On my flight into Brisbane, I sat by an Australian guy who helped me figure out what I needed to do once I got into the Brisbane airport (I would have been so confused otherwise.) I thought God didn't answer that prayer. He did, but not how I expected. His ways are just higher.
When we got to Kanabea a funeral was going on up in the cemetery. We pulled up to the hospital, and all you could hear were people sobbing and wailing. Mrs. Becky told me that the people believe that if you don't wail at someone's funeral that the spirit of the deceased will come back to haunt you. Thankfully some have received Christ as their Savior, and understand this isn't true. Pray that more will come to know Him, and be free from this spirit of fear and bondage.
While at Kanabea, we were waiting to bring little Boaz back to the clinic. Rachel S. had taken him there for more observation, after a large piece of fire wood had been accidentally dropped on him. He didn't look or sound good at all, but yesterday he was walking around. I think I even saw a smile on his face :) God is still a miracle worker. This place is a constant reminder of that.
This is my second night here and it feels like I was just here last week. While we were singing in church tonight, my mind was flooded with memories from last summer. I got to hug necks and shake hands that I thought I never would again. It was one of those "I think my heart my burst" sort of moments. I can't believe God brought me back. It almost doesn't seem real at times.
Part 2 from today:
This morning Lynn came over to teach Rachel W. and I some Pigin. I think my mind is full to overflowing with new words and phrases. We'll pick up next week, and each Thursday after that. I pray that I can catch on quickly.
We also had ladies meeting this morning. It's always one of my favorite parts of the week. Even though I'm still having a difficult time understanding everything that's said, it's good to just be with these ladies. I look forward to the weeks ahead with them.
Til next time!
Friday, June 14, 2013
Before I leave
Just a few things I wanted to share before leaving..
To my parents.
-Thank you for letting me go. Although some people think you're crazy for letting me do this, I wouldn't be safer in America. Thank you for your willing heart. Thank you for your support. Thank you for letting me be obedient to God.
To my friends, my supporters, you are one in the same.
Thank you for your encouragement and your prayers. It means so much to have friends, a church, and family who are just as excited as you are!
To my God who always goes above and beyond.
-You are always faithful and never cease to amaze me. There were a few big things that needed to be taken care of before I left, and all of them have been. Tickets, check. Visa, check. NCLEX, check. You provided even in the midst of all my worries. You have given me the chance to go back. A chance I thought only came around once.
Please continue to pray with me as I leave tomorrow night, June 15. I can't wait to see how your prayers will change my life, and the lives of those in PNG!!
~ Faith
I Sam. 12:24
Please continue to pray with me as I leave tomorrow night, June 15. I can't wait to see how your prayers will change my life, and the lives of those in PNG!!
~ Faith
I Sam. 12:24
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
My Times are in Thy Hand
Days, Hours, Minutes. They keep getting shorter and shorter. 17 days until graduation. 4 years coming to an end in just a few short days. These years were so amazing, so difficult, so critical. It was now up to me to decide the path for my life. No more riding the coat-tails of my pastor and family. Now it was my decision to follow God.
Freshman year. Moving from a student body of 500, to one of about 10,000. Away from home, from family, from most things comfortable, and I was only an hour away from home. Embarrassingly enough, I was scared, and I strongly disliked my first semester. I had teachers who instilled the fear of God in me, and some who didn't fear God at all. I was awkward, and didn't know how to be a college student. I had fun don't get me wrong, but I would have rather been home. God was using this as a baby step to increase my faith. I was uncomfortable, and I needed him. That much I knew.
Sophomore year. On my own, in an apartment for three. I lived with my best friends, Julia and Ashley. Accustomed to the college routine, my life was easier. The friendships I had grew stronger and new ones were forged. My best friend got engaged and life was great. I figured out I could breathe, that I didn't have to be stressed all of the time. I was comfortable. I didn't seek God like I should have because I could do college on my own now. I applied for nursing school, certain I would be accepted. I had the good grades, the ACT score, etc, right? Wrong. God ripped my comfort out from under me again. You can read about this here. God was teaching me the importance of relying on him. To never succumb to self-sufficiency. He was teaching me to wait on him in more ways than one.
My prayer over the next few months was that God would continuously change my heart to be more like His. That He would show himself strong in my life. That I wouldn't take the credit for the things that God was doing in my life, or rather that it would be impossible to take the credit.
Junior year. First day. I'm at peace and trusting God's plans for this semester. I'm excited. I'm not in nursing school for a reason, and life is good. The phone rings. I go to nursing school the next day. I'm not sure what or how this happened, but I do know that I can't take credit for it. It was a God thing. The entire first semester was a constant struggle to keep my head above water. I daily had to give my fears of inadequacy up to God. Oddly enough this was one of the sweetest times I've had through college. I literally felt God holding my hand on most days. Through this daily process of seeking God just one day at a time, He surprised me with an opportunity to go to Papua New Guinea.
Papua New Guinea was amazing. If you have spent any time around me over the last year, you've heard me talk about it. If you want to read about that, this blog is full of posts from PNG.
Senior year. At first confusion, frustration, and fear crippled me. I had just come home from one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and now I was back in a place where it seemed almost no one wanted to spend 10 hours talking to me about it. I was being selfish. I wanted to whine and complain that no one understood or even cared. I had forgotten about the people around me. My family, my friends, my class-mates, my hospital patients, and strangers. That's a tough lesson to learn. It's easy for me to have my planner all filled in, go about my day, and cross off the tasks as I do them. So I prayed for focus, but specifically focus on my Savior. Jesus never stuck to a planner, He sought out opportunities to minister. It's still something I have to pray about daily, and most times more than once a day.
For much of my senior year, I had no idea what I was supposed to do after graduation. Again, I had to learn to wait for God's answer. I finally decided that I would apply to jobs locally, work, save money, and see where God led next. Then an opportunity for me to return to Papua New Guinea arose. After prayer and counsel from my pastor, family, and friends the decision was made. I am going back. I am overjoyed. Of all people, I don't know why the Lord is giving me an opportunity to return. Someone recently prayed over my trip to PNG. They asked God to make me uncomfortable while I am there. At first I wanted to shout, "No! don't do that to me!" Then I realized comfort doesn't allow for growth. Why would I want to remain stagnant? To not be changed by the end of my time spent there? I am thankful for that prayer. It scares me, but ultimately it's what I need. What we all need really. To be uncomfortable. To be in a place where we can't do it on our own.
I am excited about the next few months. What comes after that? I'm not sure. If I had to guess? Waiting, trusting, praying, waiting, praying, trusting. And that's ok. I know it's not going to be an easy peasy life outside of college. It wasn't during college. I still have lessons to learn, and lessons to re-learn. I am dependent on Christ. My times are in His hand.
Freshman year. Moving from a student body of 500, to one of about 10,000. Away from home, from family, from most things comfortable, and I was only an hour away from home. Embarrassingly enough, I was scared, and I strongly disliked my first semester. I had teachers who instilled the fear of God in me, and some who didn't fear God at all. I was awkward, and didn't know how to be a college student. I had fun don't get me wrong, but I would have rather been home. God was using this as a baby step to increase my faith. I was uncomfortable, and I needed him. That much I knew.
Sophomore year. On my own, in an apartment for three. I lived with my best friends, Julia and Ashley. Accustomed to the college routine, my life was easier. The friendships I had grew stronger and new ones were forged. My best friend got engaged and life was great. I figured out I could breathe, that I didn't have to be stressed all of the time. I was comfortable. I didn't seek God like I should have because I could do college on my own now. I applied for nursing school, certain I would be accepted. I had the good grades, the ACT score, etc, right? Wrong. God ripped my comfort out from under me again. You can read about this here. God was teaching me the importance of relying on him. To never succumb to self-sufficiency. He was teaching me to wait on him in more ways than one.
My prayer over the next few months was that God would continuously change my heart to be more like His. That He would show himself strong in my life. That I wouldn't take the credit for the things that God was doing in my life, or rather that it would be impossible to take the credit.
Junior year. First day. I'm at peace and trusting God's plans for this semester. I'm excited. I'm not in nursing school for a reason, and life is good. The phone rings. I go to nursing school the next day. I'm not sure what or how this happened, but I do know that I can't take credit for it. It was a God thing. The entire first semester was a constant struggle to keep my head above water. I daily had to give my fears of inadequacy up to God. Oddly enough this was one of the sweetest times I've had through college. I literally felt God holding my hand on most days. Through this daily process of seeking God just one day at a time, He surprised me with an opportunity to go to Papua New Guinea.
Papua New Guinea was amazing. If you have spent any time around me over the last year, you've heard me talk about it. If you want to read about that, this blog is full of posts from PNG.
Senior year. At first confusion, frustration, and fear crippled me. I had just come home from one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and now I was back in a place where it seemed almost no one wanted to spend 10 hours talking to me about it. I was being selfish. I wanted to whine and complain that no one understood or even cared. I had forgotten about the people around me. My family, my friends, my class-mates, my hospital patients, and strangers. That's a tough lesson to learn. It's easy for me to have my planner all filled in, go about my day, and cross off the tasks as I do them. So I prayed for focus, but specifically focus on my Savior. Jesus never stuck to a planner, He sought out opportunities to minister. It's still something I have to pray about daily, and most times more than once a day.
For much of my senior year, I had no idea what I was supposed to do after graduation. Again, I had to learn to wait for God's answer. I finally decided that I would apply to jobs locally, work, save money, and see where God led next. Then an opportunity for me to return to Papua New Guinea arose. After prayer and counsel from my pastor, family, and friends the decision was made. I am going back. I am overjoyed. Of all people, I don't know why the Lord is giving me an opportunity to return. Someone recently prayed over my trip to PNG. They asked God to make me uncomfortable while I am there. At first I wanted to shout, "No! don't do that to me!" Then I realized comfort doesn't allow for growth. Why would I want to remain stagnant? To not be changed by the end of my time spent there? I am thankful for that prayer. It scares me, but ultimately it's what I need. What we all need really. To be uncomfortable. To be in a place where we can't do it on our own.
I am excited about the next few months. What comes after that? I'm not sure. If I had to guess? Waiting, trusting, praying, waiting, praying, trusting. And that's ok. I know it's not going to be an easy peasy life outside of college. It wasn't during college. I still have lessons to learn, and lessons to re-learn. I am dependent on Christ. My times are in His hand.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
Last Friday night I watched one of my dearest friends get married. As they knelt to pray in the middle of the ceremony, I knew I was watching something far more beautiful than any love story out of Hollywood. My friends have allowed God to direct their paths, and by doing so He led them to each other.
Last Friday night I watched one of my dearest friends get married. As they knelt to pray in the middle of the ceremony, I knew I was watching something far more beautiful than any love story out of Hollywood. My friends have allowed God to direct their paths, and by doing so He led them to each other.
I have been friends with Hannah since we were both 14. Our friendship started at a youth camp,and has kept me sane throughout high school and college. It seems like we should still be staying up until 2 am wondering about who we would one day marry, making treks through Goodwill to find the craziest outfits, or ruining a spaghetti meal together. It has been such an honor to see God work behind the scenes in bringing Jacob into her life, and how through this adventure He has gotten all of the glory!
Although we will be missing you terribly in the months to come, I know you are right in the center of God's perfect plan for your life! I am so thankful for your friendship, Hannah! I am excited to see the rest of your story unfold :)
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