Reflections

"There I sat, peeling pia nuts for dinner, and it hit me.  It hit me like a wave.  I had just finished reading a friend's blog, and I sat there in awe thinking of how wonderful my God has been to me.   His sovereignty has amazed me over and over in my life.   To think of all that he has done for me since I've been here is humbling enough, but looking at my life over the past 3 years especially is.  God has literally directed my steps and hand placed me in Kunai, Gulf Province, PNG.  He made it obvious that I attend TTU.  He gave me friends and room-mates that have kept me accountable throughout school.  He placed a desire for nursing and missions on my heart.  He opened the door for me to attend nursing school, quite literally.  And He gave me the humbling opportunity to serve Him this summer in Papua New Guinea. "

I wrote the above, still in PNG and now I am home thinking about all God has allowed me to see, to learn, to feel, to be a part of.  I feel like any thanks He has received on my part has been inadequate.  He deserves all the credit for anything good that has happened in my life!  As I write this, I have been back for one week now, and more than anything I want to be there.  I miss my muddy feet that never seem to get clean.  I want to hear Basiba say, "Awi!" every morning as I walk to clinic.  I want to eat a Bush Biscuit for lunch ;)  I want to hear Margaret laugh, even if it is at my expense.  I want to put a band-aid on Brenda's knee, and try to get her to talk to me, again. I want to shake fifty hands and say Kafaina to everyone before I sit indian-style on the floor surrounded by my sisters in Christ. I want my knees to ache as I sit there with them, listening to pastor James pour his heart out to his church.  I want to get a hug from Sister Tai and feel like my neck is about to break.  I want to pour my life into Anna, and be there when she gets saved.  I want to walk back from fellowship with Lynn and sing God is so Good with her in Pigin.  I want to go down to the Bible school dorms and see Paimuri there, holding her new baby.  To see Ansuta and thank her for praying for me.  To watch Sister Dalla as she tries to teach me how to cook PNG style, and to just be there.

I could choose one of two attitudes.  The first being a girl who is deeply dissatisfied with the life she has been graciously given, and only wishes to wallow in self-pity, or a girl who is forever indebted to her Lord and Savior for giving her the opportunity to experience all of this and more!

As much as I would love to be there now,  I am called somewhere else this year.  It's not quite the same, much different actually.  I'll probably never have muddy feet or hear anyone say Awi or Kafaina, but God has placed me in Cookeville, Tn just like he placed me in Kunai this summer.  TTU is my mission field.  Now it's my choice to decide which girl I will be.  My prayer is that my peers won't see me, but a God who is much more appealing than anything I could offer! God has taught me a lot just in the last week about patience and choosing happiness.  Just because I'm not in PNG doesn't mean God isn't here with me while I go to school.  How could I not be more than excited about starting my final year of school, and seeing where God leads next!  Even still, what does He have planned for this last year of school?! I don't know, but I can't wait to find out!

Thank you again for all of the support and prayers that were prayed this summer!!  I don't believe my summer would have been as amazing had I not had the prayers of everyone back home, so thank you 100 times over!